Memories
by yara82
Summary: The story takes place at the Destiny with some flashbacks to Icarus Base and the beginning of TJ/Young relationship. 1S. I hate summaries.


**The memories**

The Destiny was heading a course that was build into its program thousands years ago. It accepted people that had filled it's space. They didn't disturb, 'cause the ship practically didn't notice them. They existed as a fact.

Moving with measured steps TJ suddenly felt giddy. Damned, she started to get tired so quickly last time. She gripped on to the nearest table not to fall. Not the right time to it. The day was really uneasy, all over the ship people tried to cope with Destiny's systems that were hard to overcome. As a result the infirmary was filled with patients with easy scratches, burns, bruises. Also some more serious cases as contused webbing or dislocated arms and legs. And all these she had to do. Cole tried to send her to rest but TJ didn't give up. And now her head began to dizzy.

She heard colonel's voice and turned, he was speaking with someone of the crew near the doors. Young saw her, he obviously didn't like her paleness and fingers that convulsive snatched at the table. TJ noticed how has changed his gaze . _Damned, when would pass this weakness! _Young finished a conversation and came up to her.

"What's happened?"

"Nothing, sir."

"TJ…"

"It's all right," nevertheless she leaned on his arm. In his presence she felt better, even a giddiness almost stopped.

"You need to rest," he said in low voice.

"Yeah, it's hard to contest."

"Everything is good with meals?"

TJ looked at him. It was a hard situation enough for him without her and a baby. With them it was much harder. Because of a long hyperspace jump they had to cut down a daily ration, but Young and Cole insisted on TJ's ration didn't change. And now she felt conscience-stricken.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I'm just tired. It was a crazy day. You've right, I need some rest." She said it less official. "I go to my room."

"I'll see you to it."

It was calm in the infirmary. After a short conversation with Cole they leaved infirmary and went to TJ's room. Young held her arm, TJ's head stopped swim, and she felt so calm with Everett. She even wanted to ask him does he want girl or boy, or how they can name a baby but this moment Young's transmitter was on:

"Colonel, it's Rush, could you come here?"

Everett unwillingly let TJ's slender fingers.

"Something serious?"

"Important."

Everything was important for Rush. There was nothing unimportant on this ship. Young looked at TJ with regret. Although their relations changed they even couldn't talk about it. One by one different businesses. Young couldn't spend more than 10 minutes with TJ.

"Go," she smiled with sympathy. "I'll find a way, everything's ok."

Young took transmitter and report:

"I'm on my way." Then looked tenderly at TJ. "Go sleep."

She nodded, followed him with her eyes, and turned to right direction when she felt perceptible push. Her hand touched a belly.

"Hey, babe, quieter," she grinned. Then looked back, but colonel wasn't there already. "Why do you always start moving when your dad's leaving? He wants feel you too, do you hear?"

оОо

The ships desk disappeared for a moment, TJ felt a wind. The girl looked around. She was standing on the open terrace made right in the rock. There were rocky surroundings wide around - brown ground, blue sky, and somewhere behind the clouds in the space Hammond placed in orbit. TJ took a deep breath, as if she tasted a local air. Her attention drew some noise from the bottom. She leaned over the rail to see runway for 302. One of the fighters made a landing. TJ watched closely this maneuver, almost didn't notice her fellow travelers behind. Just by the one look she could say that it was a fully confident pilot. So that she wanted see him.

"You like it?" heard she from the side.

She turned. Near stood a young man about 25 years old in the Icarus base uniform with lieutenant's stripes.

"It's beautiful. Not only this flight, but the planet itself. But this beauty is little bit stern, you know." On Alfa base, where TJ served several months, there were mountains too, but their slopes were covered with thick forest, where she liked to walk in a free time.

The guy smiled, he was cute, little bit lop-eared and really nice.

'Lieutenant Matthew Scott, but Matt is ok."

He stretched hid hand.

"Lieutenant Tamara Johansen, but you can call me TJ," friends called her so in school, that's why she was used to it.

"Let's go?"

Scott glanced back on the rest of the group and said in loud:

"Attention please," when all faced him, he continued, "now we gonna go to the Gate Room for the introducing with Colonel Young. Don't drop behind please, or you'll get lost, the structure of the base is very…tangled."

TJ smiled, suspecting her new friend wanted to use some coarse word, but changed his mind in some reason.

Inside the rock, on which terrace colonel Carter put off the passengers, were big caves used for a base. After these premises were equipped they became similar to other base of SGC. TJ went on corridor, but for some moment had a feeling she didn't leave Alfa base. Though Icarus was more alike to SGS, 'cause Alfa's corridors were bigger and rooms more spacious. But the yellow line was invariable on all bases.

Gate Room was almost similar to Earth, even with ramp that wasn't on Alfa. TJ fascinated watched the Stargate, this grandiose ring that discovered them new horizons to explore. Although she had seen Stargate before, TJ still had some strange feeling of awe seeing it. This gate at the first sight was not so different from SGC's or Alfa's, but scientists affirmed that was able to dial ninth chevron. It was all the same for TJ, she'll go there where she gets order, until that her place was in the infirmary. On Alfa base she sometimes accompanied SG-teams in missions.

All the newly arrived were the military, they intuitively formed a rank, waiting for the commander. Before departure they have got and wore now a new uniform with Icarus base stripe on it. The new commander didn't keep waiting for him. _A true colonel is recognized from the afar_, thought TJ standing at attention in the end of the rank. She watched carefully how he passed one by one, speaking short with each. They were just six, but it was an honor for colonel to meet each personally. _Well, it's worthy of respect. _

Young (his name she heard on Hammond) had stern strong-willed face; he radiated a pleasant sense of manliness. TJ would like to stick a label to him - "a real man". When colonel came up to her she stood up straight. She was really tall; her friends have told her often, that with such a height she should become a model. She wasn't agree.

Young's look stopped on fair-haired tall girl. She drew his attention at once - beautiful, with green eyes. He was surprised why she's standing here in uniform on his base, but now it was unnecessary detail. Her voice sounded calm and resolutely, without any irritability.

"Lieutenant Tamara Johansen, arrived to active service on Icarus base, position - paramedic."

"A paramedic?" asked Young. He didn't remember this position, even in infirmary.

"Yes, sir. I'm a middle between nurses and doctors, also my charge is accompany teems in missions. So it was on Alfa base."

"On Alfa?"

"Yes, sir, I served there."

"Why you'd been transferred?"

Lieutenant shrugged, she didn't know the reason. She received an order, packed up her things and set out, on Earth at first, then here.

"I don't know, sir."

Young looked fixedly at her, but didn't say anything, He stepped back to see all his new people.

"Well, welcome to Icarus base. Settle and enter upon your duties. To get your a new assignment ask lieutenant Scott. And you, lieutenant Johansen, get infirmary."

"Yes, sir," answered to him discordant chorus.

They all followed Scott, who guided them to inhabitable premises.

оОо

TJ decided, that she could sort out all things later, she have left her bag in the room and went back in corridor. Scott has told her, on which level was the infirmary, she just needed to find the elevator, push the right button and reach a right place. But there was a problem. There were no direction signs, the corridor was the same on all levels, and she even didn't know, where the elevator was. She has been roaming for a long, if almost not run into colonel Young by the next turn.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Where are you rushing off to?"

"To the infirmary, sir."

Young smiled.

"You're fast."

"Well, things can wait, but I wanna see my work place right now. It's only a pity I have bad sense of direction here," TJ smiled back, as if she excused for her geographical cretinism that she have never had before. This place needed direction signs first. But this thought she wouldn't say aloud.

But Young understood her very good. It passed several weeks until he started orientate himself in this corridors of the base.

"Let me to lead you, it's gonna be faster, as if you'll search it yourself," offered colonel.

"Thank you," thanked TJ, and recollected same seconds, "sir."

Young was right; they found the elevator fast and easy. Colonel pushed the button and they were standing in waiting.

"So you're paramedic," he remembered her position she named earlier. "Interesting. Have finished the university?"

"No, sir, college only. During study I was working in ER ambulance."

"And why Air Force?" surprised Young. The elevator's doors opened and he welcomed TJ in.

"Good money. Especially in Stargate program. I still hope to become a certificated doctor."

Young nodded in understanding.

"Well, all I can it to wish you good luck. But still can't get what are you doing here, on Icarus. Why did you leave Alfa?"

TJ didn't know an answer. The orders are not to be discussed, that's why she didn't ask the top brass, why she was transferred here.

The elevator reached right level.

"Direct to corridor and to the right, lieutenant," showed Young a direction.

"Thank you, sir," TJ smiled again.

Young couldn't help smile back. TJ caught herself at thought, that colonel had very charming smile. Smiling he seemed to be younger, not so stern. In such moments she liked him much more.

Elevator's doors closed. The air still kept light scent of her eau de toilette. Young couldn't put out of his head her green eyes and smile. It wasn't like him. He was married for a long time, not always happy, but anyway all these years he was faithful to his wife. He wasn't indifferent to the other beautiful women, but never thought about anyone more than couple of minutes. Lieutenant Johansen has awakened this long time ago forgotten interest to other women. That wasn't good. First - she was his young officer, his subordinate, and second he was married. Though they quarreled with Emily before his departure, Young didn't think about unfaithfulness.

оОо

Rush talked on and on, but Young didn't understand the sense of his words almost. It was not a matter of difficult scientific terms that Rush loved so much (wishing maybe that after his speech people will get him with questions), Eli translated them to normal language. It was almost midnight and they had lot of work today. Everyone dreamed to stretch on bed, not so soft as they wanted, but still it was bed. Everyone needed rest and only Rush continued to work 24 hours a day. He had nervous breakdown just one time, and as said TJ just because of lack of caffeine in organism.

By the thought about his lieutenant Young felt relieved. He thought he should lead TJ to the quarter. He worried about her, today she looked too tired.

"Colonel?" Rush looked at Young inquiring.

Colonel turned to scientist.

"Did you hear at least a half I have explained?"

"Yep, doctor, have no doubts," Young notched to ask Eli about everything. Out of the corner of his eye he saw how Brody stifled a yawn. Doctor Park also was almost asleep. "Did you finish?"

"Not quit," started Rush, "we need to define more exactly…"

"No, doctor, you finished," said Young decidedly.

"What?" Scientist's face was dissatisfied.

"Rush, did you notice that it's night, and everybody needs rest, especially after such an eventful day spent for fight with this ship?"

"Colonel, you should understand…"

"I do, that's why I have decided something."

"What?"

"Tomorrow is day off."

People in room, all except Rush, roused themselves, fought back the overcoming sleepiness. This idea about day off sounded as gift from heaven. It couldn't be said that they were deadly tired, but constant tension, that became less last time, still pressured on shoulder, brain and conscience.

Fear of death, responsibility for other - it hardly let people sleep calmly. Even when the life on Destiny became almost usual and got some routine.

"That's dumb idea," Rush scoffed.

"Not a bit," Young parried calmly and activated his transmitter. "Young to Scott."

"Scott is here, sir," Scott respond fast, he seemed not to be asleep.

"Lieutenant, I want tomorrow all people know, that we have day off. It means that I don't wanna see anyone near to Destiny's consoles and at work, if it's not a necessarily for a normal functioning of the ship."

"Yes, sir," in Scott's voice sounded smile and it heard everyone in room.

"People, who'll be caught up at work you can lock in their quarters."

"Compulsory but made to appear as voluntary, huh?" Rush asked.

"Yes, if you wish. Eli, Mr. Brody, doctor Park, your day off have got started."

Scientists and young genius looked at colonel grateful and hurried to leave. Brody was the last one, he took his things and heard the end of conversation.

"It's your choice, Rush, I can't order you, although I insist on rest. Or you'll find yourself in thoughtful hands of lieutenant Johansen, and I hardly believe she'll let you go so easy this time."

"Oh yeah, all roads lead to lieutenant Johansen." grumbled Rush discontentedly.

He didn't notice that Young clenched his fists. Colonel could control himself; there were no need to ascertain relations. He had more important businesses. Although he understood that Rush run into fight deliberately to prove himself poor and wretched person who's being oppressed by military.

Colonel leaved. Being deep in thought he got to observation deck. In this time it was empty; the members of team dispersed and went sleep. Everett looked at the ring on his ring finger. Earlier he came to the conclusion that it's all over with Emily. Not only because of this story with Telford, anyway was something or not. And not because of baby. It was because of him only.

Being not able to let the memory of many years standing marriage he didn't notice that he almost have lost the most appreciated person, TJ. For the sake she embodied now for him he strived for getting out here. She and the baby that what was important. Now and forever. He'll never let her away. Everett shuddered of thought she could stay on that planet. He remembered her face at that minute she made several steps and stood side by side with him. Damned, he's a military blockhead. He must understand then, that something was with her. She returned just because of him.

Young got up and went to lieutenant's quarter. No, he's really a blockhead! TJ wanted to leave him twice; he should thank heaven she couldn't. This baby has united them, but they still hadn't any chance to talk about everything happened, about their feelings to get closer. There was no time. So, he should find this time.

оОо

Young entered infirmary. The nurse nodded him to side, where behind the curtain was sitting lieutenant Scott. Near stood lieutenant Johansen with her stethoscope. She wore doctor's smock that has replaced uniform jacket. Doctor Simms set off to short vacation on Earth, that's why TJ performed the duties of major medical officer.

"How do you feel?" the question addressed to both lieutenants.

Scott glanced at colonel guilty look.

"Fine, sir."

He was ready to jump down of bed, but TJ held him back.

"Lieutenant Scott has light concussion of the brain, in consideration of power of blow it's good. I think he should stay in the infirmary for the whole night."

"Are you sure?" Young glanced at TJ fixedly while she was hanging her stethoscope on the neck.

That was upsetting for TJ, when her words were called in question, but she didn't betray it in word nor gesture. She knew perfectly that her knowledge wasn't complete, but she had no choice. She looked colonel in the face.

"Sir, doctor Simms is more competent doctor as me, tomorrow he'll confirm or disprove my diagnosis, but today lieutenant will stay here."

"Hey, I'm fine," Scott began to fidget again.

"Wanna count up fingers? You saw three instead of two. It's temporarily, but you should rest," smiling, TJ pushed him softly to put him to bed.

"Lieutenant, you should listen to doctor, it's her territory so she's in charge here."

"Thank you, sir," grinned TJ.

She moved off leaving colonel with his subordinate.

"Sir, I'm sorry, I didn't want mangle the fighter," heard TJ from behind the curtain.

TJ shook her head still smiling and listening to Matt's excuses. She couldn't get away from the feeling that he was like a teenager, who's been setting himself right with father for crushed car. She was just couple of years older than Matt, but felt like elder sister.

"Matt, fighter is almost ok, technician will find out what happened…"

"TJ?" Vanessa came up to the girl.

"Uhm?"

"Wanna have a bite?"

"That would be great," TJ nodded to the nurse. "I'm going go to diner, in the event of something call me up transmitter." The nurse nodded back and girls leaved.

Young finished their conversation, Scott started to flake out, and Young thought that TJ has gave him a shot sedative. That was most welcome. The guy was too nervous because of risk to crush such an expensive machine. Interesting when Scott gonna get that he was born with a silver spoon in one's mouth - the fighter could easy break into pieces, and it's pilot could die.

Colonel examined all over the room looking for Johansen. But there was nobody except nurse on duty, who was reading a book with a bright cover. Everett felt regret. He didn't want to TJ's feelings with distrust, for the half of the year there was no case to doubt about her competence, although they hadn't any serious situation at all. Young sighed and went to corridor.

The sky above Icarus was the same like on Earth, like on many other planets that Young had chance to see. And he saw a lot, going trough Stargate. He liked his job that had the only one shortcoming - the endless quarrels with Emily who was afraid to become a widow one day. She didn't believe him that there was not so much risk in his job. Young grinned sad. She was right, there was always some risk. Young hoped that his departure to Icarus will give them a little bit time to think over this situation, that if their quarrels stop for a while everything gonna be good. It didn't work so good as an idea, but they should try.

Everett heard he door opened behind him and turned the right time to call TJ, who seemed to leave terrace when she saw him.

"Lieutenant."

She stood still near the door.

"Colonel."

"Would you take a seat?"

TJ didn't move in hesitation but then came nearer and sit down, so beautiful in moonlight. The terrace was built right in the rock, at first by nature, than by people. Usually it was used for the teleportation, because the base itself was protected of teleportation rays. After all humans became more prudent and didn't let steal their Stargate or people anymore.

TJ looked the horizon round. For the half of the year she got used to surrounding landscape, falling in love with it. And not only… She felt so comfortable again because Young was so close. As usually her conscience was clouded over, but she tried to gather herself up not to fall into imaginary world.

"I want to apologize for calling in question your diagnose. I wanted say it yesterday but you were not to be caught," Young smiled flash.

TJ smiled too.

"You're not the one, sir, who's thinking so. By the way doctor Simms has confirmed my words and Scott is going to be all right."

Young listened for her low voice and couldn't tear himself away from the girl. Light breeze moved tenderly her locks that came out of coiffure. He has never seen her with flowing hair and he was interested to know how long is it. Neat earrings, modest make-up, elegance and simplicity. Even in free time she wore jeans, T-shirts, all simple and with a good taste. Young's look shifted little bit lower to her neck when her question sounded through his dreams.

"What caused the crash?"

Young swallowed returning to real world.

"Well… some technical failures. Defective engine."

"So it could finish worse for lieutenant Scott?"

"Yep. But the guy was really born with a silver spoon in one's mouth. The technicians are examining the engine. By the way, it really could finish worse, in due time General O'Neill have got stick in space on the first version of 302, which contained more details from death's glider."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Young didn't know why he told it to her, usually he wasn't so talkative. But with this girl he wanted speak all night long. So by talking about the life on SGC and Alfa time passed by quickly. The sentry on the terrace was relieved, morning came little by little. Young got up unwillingly; it was time to get some rest for body and conscience.

They went to the elevator together, reached habitable level. Colonel's room was little bit further so he leaded TJ to her doors.

"Thank you for a nice time TJ," Young smiled again.

TJ dropped her eyes feeling that her ears became red.

"You too, sir, it was nice."

Young shook her hand and kept it in his a bit longer as prescribed. He couldn't make himself to say good night and leave. And TJ mentally asked him not to let her hand. She felt his fingers trembling, felt pleasant warm of this touch that turned into languor. Young bent forward to her but shrill sound in the end of corridor frightened both of them. Colonel moved away rapidly.

"Good night, TJ."

"Good night, sir."

TJ closed the door and pressed to it. She felt like a schoolgirl fell in love with handsome teacher who suddenly reciprocated her feelings. She took off her jacket, came to bed and switched on side lamp. She unlaced high shoes on automatic pilot. TJ knew it was just her imagination, desire, but nothing else. Everyone on the base knew that colonel was married, that showed a massive wedding ring on his ring finger. But no one could forbid her to dream and to desire. Her lips smiled with blissful smile. She felt so good just because of simple talk with him.

Young still stood near to the closed door. The noise that has frightened them off died away. Everett sighed. This nice and tender girl attracted him so much… But it was wrong for two reasons - he was her commander and he was married. Colonel went slowly to his room. Maybe it's time to visit home and Emily?


End file.
